“ There is the heat of Love, the pulsing rush of Longing, the lover’s whisper, irresistible – magic to make the sanest man go mad”
-Homer, The Iliad-
….but what if all that happens with somebody who’s from the other side of the world?!
Taking on the world together
Somebody who probably grew up with pretty different value-systems and beliefs to yourself, who when growing up played different games, talked in a different language, ate different food and watched different TV series ? As you will probably have found out by now , not everyone was blessed to delve into the gummy bear series delight after a long and hard day at school, incredible but true. Many of my friends and acquaintances are, have been or will probably be in a cross cultural relationship: they fell in love with each other while one of them was working or traveling in the other one’s country, or while both were backpacking around, or similar scenarios. The excitement and romance of cross- cultural love augur something exotic, something challenging and adventurous. Cross-cultural love allures with the exploration of a completely new world not just within the scope of the lover’s body, also concerning their whole mindset, emotional world, their needs, their stories and their unique magic.
Here in Australia I am surrounded by cross cultural love in its many forms all the time: Beautiful girls and women from places like Spain, Russia or Venezuela who fell in love with handsome Aussie guys or Kiwis while travelling through India, dancing at a club at home, or doing a language course in Oz. Courageous women, and men, who took a leap of faith, embarking on a relationship with not only a partner from the opposite gender, which can sometimes already be quite a mission due to different ways of thinking and communicating (yes, I am talking from experience, ahem).
The women I am talking about (including myself) are loving men who hail from a place, where beer is probably more often consumed than water, where “ Sheila” is an allowed denomination for a women (and I mean, women in general, not a women named Sheila), and where the collegial term “Mates” can be used on you as a women, completely independent of how hot you look in your new dress.
BUT – and the truth is always after the but I dare say- a lot of Australian and Kiwi blokes are also men who still know what inner and outer strength looks like, men who can be reliable and trustworthy, and whose character is generally easygoing and fun. Plus they grew up on the same soil like HUGH JACKMAN….!!! Yes.
The following observation by Steven Covey, an American teacher, author and leadership-expert, might inspire us to be aware of our innate different perceptions and to communicate differing backgrounds and needs more clearly:
“Each of us tends to think we see things as they are, that we are objective. But this is not the case. We see the world, not as it is, but as we are – or, as we are conditioned to see it. When we open our mouths to describe what we see, we in effect describe ourselves, our perceptions, our paradigms.”
Due to witnessing the cross cultural love phenomenon daily and being part of it myself, the following post might be dedicated to delving a bit deeper into the fascinating world of CC- Love:
How does it differ from relationships with same-country partners, what kind of challenges are normal or frequent, and WHAT THE HECK can be done about it?
Want a little appetizer to the later? Dr. Luisa Dillner states in her book
”Love by numbers. The hidden facts behind Everyone’s Relationships:
” Without wishing to underestimate the struggle ahead, the fundamentals of long lasting relationships are romance, companionship, love, support and loyalty. You have to believe these cross cultural boundaries”
Do you have any special suggestions, hints or top-secret tips as to how to go with the flow in a CC-Love Relationship? What works for you?
Looking forward to some inspirations, may you have a week full of romance!