Monthly Archives: August 2013

Cross Cultural Love

“ There is the heat of Love, the pulsing rush of Longing, the lover’s whisper, irresistible – magic to make the sanest man go mad

-Homer, The Iliad-

  ….but what if all that happens with somebody who’s from the other side of the world?!

www.windimherzen.wordpress.com

Taking on the world together

Somebody, who probably grew up with pretty different value-systems and  beliefs to yourself,  who when growing up played different games, talked in a different language, ate different food and watched different TV series ? ( as you will probably have found out by now , not everyone was blessed to delve into the gummy bear series delight after school,  incredible but true). Many of my friends and acquaintances are, have been or will probably be in a cross cultural relationship: they fell in love with each other while one of them was working or travelling in the other one’s country, or while both were backpacking around, or similar scenarios. The excitement and romance of cross- cultural love augur something exotic, something challenging and adventurous. Cross-cultural love allures with the exploration of a completely new world not just within the scope of the  lover’s body, also concerning their whole mindset, emotional world, their needs, their stories and their unique magic.

Shell-Love

Shell- Love

Here in Australia I am surrounded by cross cultural love in its many forms all the time: Beautiful girls and women from places like Spain, Russia or Venezuela who fell in love with handsome Aussie Guys or Kiwis while travelling through India, dancing at a club at home, or doing a Language Course in Oz. Courageous women, and men,  who took a leap of faith, embarking on a relationship with not only a partner from the opposite gender, which can sometimes already be quite a mission due to different ways of thinking and communicating (yes, I am talking from experience, ahem).

The women I am talking about (including myself) are loving men who hail from a place, where beer is probably more often consumed than water, where “ Sheila” is an allowed denomination for a women (and I mean, women in general, not a women named Sheila), and where the collegial term “Mates” can be used on you as a women, completely independent of how hot you look in your new dress.

BUT – and the truth is always after the but I dare say- a lot of Australian and Kiwi blokes are also men, who still know what inner and outer strength looks like, men who can be reliable and trustworthy, and whose character is generally easygoing and fun. Plus they grew up on the same (or a neighbouring ) soil  like HUGH JACKMAN….!!!Yes.

The following observation by Steven Covey, an american teacher, author and leadership-expert, might inspire us to be aware of our innate different perceptions and to communicate differing backgrounds and  needs more clearly:

 “Each of us tends to think we see things as they are, that we are objective. But this is not the case. We see the world, not as it is, but as we are – or, as we are conditioned to see it. When we open our mouths to describe what we see, we in effect describe ourselves, our perceptions, our paradigms.”

Due to witnessing the cross cultural love phenomenon daily and being part of it myself, ( as well as being a product of a another cross cultural fusion between a northern german man and a southern Spanish mother but that’s a different story) , the following post(s) will be dedicated to delve a bit deeper into the fascinating world of  CC- Love:

How does it differ from relationships with same-country partners, what kind of challenges are normal or frequent,  and WHAT THE HECK can be done about it?Source: www.drnoth.wordpress.com

Want a  little appetizer to the later?  Dr. Luisa Dillner states in her book” Love by numbers. The hidden facts behind Everyone’s Relationships:

Without wishing to underestimate the struggle ahead, the fundamentals of long lasting relationships are romance, companionship, love, support and loyalty. You have to believe these cross cultural boundaries

Do you have any special suggestions, hints or top-secret tips to go with the flow in a CC-Love Relationship? What works for you?

Looking forward to some inspirations, may you have a week full of romance!

Categories: Amor und Eros, Posts in English, Reisen | Tags: , , , , | 5 Comments

Home- what the heck is that?

HOME –

a notion that might be pretty clear-cut and easy to define to folks who still live onthe same beauty patch they were born and raised. With millions of songs, poems and quotes out there trying to capture the essence of every possible association with “Home”, the answer to the question What the heck does “Home” really stand for? remains presumably much more challenging to those who have been given a good cultural shaking in and through their upbringing.

One world

Be it having emigrated at a young age from their natal country to find their luck in a completely new environment, physically giving up their roots to find a new “home” far away from their original one, like my friend David from El Salvador. Or be it embodying two (or even more) different cultures and therefore almost owning two different heartbeats, like many of my mates and myself. Or it can even be not feeling comfortable at the place you were born and therefore rejoicing every time you are being asked: “Where are you from”? And maybe heading off into the world in order to find a more appropriate “Home” due to this.

Whatever the nomadic variation it may be in your case, it remains clear that “Home” can be quite challenging to define for some of us!

Lets throw a few ideas out and make our brain cells dance a little instead of giving them the Facebook information intake overkill:

  • Is “Home” necessarily the place you were born? Or where you were educated?

    Hands_Home

    Creating one’s own home

  • Is it something determined by outer factors like the previously mentioned ones?  And therefore really just another intent of the naturally obsessive compulsive mind to put everything and everyone (including ourselves) into predefined drawers?
  • Or is “Home”  a term which needs to be understood through our internal world, our innermost longings and our intuitive knowing?

Would love to hear your thoughts on this! I keep coming back to this question and can’t wait to get some different perspectives on it.

Categories: Posts in English, Reisen | Tags: , , , , , , | 2 Comments

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